


The Last Summer We Were Simply Boys

by sadpendragon



Series: Trans Merlin AU [3]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: First Kiss, M/M, Pre-Canon, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:55:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24951925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadpendragon/pseuds/sadpendragon
Summary: Merlin felt something inside his stomach tug. He had never been kissed before. He wanted it so badly. But what did it feel like to be wanted for who you truly were? “Stop,” he said to Will. He looked into the boy’s eyes regretfully. “I’m not a girl, William.”
Relationships: Merlin/Will (Merlin)
Series: Trans Merlin AU [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1584916
Comments: 14
Kudos: 54
Collections: Merlin Rarepair Hub





	The Last Summer We Were Simply Boys

They quickly sat down in the hay, both out of breath and laughing. “I don’t think he saw us,” Merlin said between breaths and laughter. He turned to face Will, whose cheeks and nose were stark red. It made him look more innocent than he was, it was cute.

“One day, Merlin, old man Simmons is going to kick our asses.”

“Speak for yourself, I don’t get caught,” he smirked.

Will merely rolled his eyes and shoved him slightly. “You better not. Come on, show me again.” Merlin tucked a strand of hair behind his ear, it was getting so long again… “Don’t worry,” Will said, “I’ll cut it for you tonight, okay?”

Merlin nodded, then breathed in the musky air and put his palms against each other. Concentrating, he imagined how floating would feel like. Being as light as a feather and letting the wind take you anywhere it wanted. He opened his eyes, which burned golden, and all around them, the leaves and strands of hays were floating all over the place. _Imagine if I could fly_. Merlin longed for it, it felt like the most beautiful thing in the world.

“ _Beautiful_ ,” Will whispered next to him. Merlin was suddenly aware of his friend’s eyes on him and how closer they were sitting to each other. And how warm it all felt.

Merlin cleared his throat and let the leaves around them fall back onto the ground. “Just a parlour trick.”

Will’s eyes were still on him, harder, fiercer. “You’re such a fool for that you know.”

Then his lips were inches away from Merlin’s. The air was suddenly very hot, their mixed breaths warming the little space between their lips. Merlin felt something inside his stomach tug. He had never been kissed before. He wanted it so badly. But what did it feel like to be wanted for who you truly were? “Stop,” he said to Will. He looked into the boy’s eyes regretfully. “I’m not a girl, William.”

Will merely snorted. “Yeah, I’ve noticed.”

Merlin shook his head. “No.” This was not a game to him. His insides were turning, pulling him forward and away. Twisting between wanting this so badly from Will, and not wanting it like that. 

“Fool,” Will whispered. But it felt like a loud punch.

“I’m not a fool! I’m not some solution to your ‘I don't like any of these _girly_ village girls, Merlin, make them stop flirting with me’ problem.” He’d taken a high pitch voice to replicate Will’s fussing but he hated it instantly.

Will’s face looked as furious as his own, but before the boy said anything he simply took up Merlin’s fallen string and tied his hair back. Will’s hands felt warm and soothing going through his hair, and his face was so close again. Will caught Merlin looking at the boy’s lips. He felt his face heat up, but the other boy merely smiled kindly.

“I understand your frustrations, Merlin, but the reality is that...I simply do not like girls.”

 _Oh_. “And...you like me?”

“If it wasn’t obvious already...yes, I do like you.”

Merlin hummed and looked away for a moment. This should be the moment where he bursts of joy and jumps at the opportunity to get his kiss— _but_ …

“So, um, do you like me back?” Will asked hesitantly.

Merlin shrugged, trying to hide his smile. “I don’t know. I feel like I can do better when it comes to mudgy village boys.” He found himself instantly on his back. With Will _straddling him_.

“You little shit!”

Merlin laughed as his whole body felt warmer and warmer. “You kiss my mother with that mouth, William.”

Will hummed, then his nose was nuzzling Merlin’s. “Kiss it clean?”

 _Smooth_. Merlin put his hand on Will’s head, gripping his hair softly. His hair was greasy, like that of a village boy who spends more time enjoying life than caring about his appearance. It was gross, Merlin found it endearing. He carefully placed his lips against Will’s, their lips moved against each other slowly. Will’s chapped lips were dry against his. Then, Merlin burst into chuckles. “I’m sorry, this is just—”

“Awkward? Yeah.” Will chuckled softly then rested his forehead against Merlin’s.

Merlin had never kissed anybody and Will only a few times (with the same girl; he’d hated it. In retrospect, Merlin should have known). They were 16 and inexperienced, and best friends. It was bound to be awkward. “Let’s try again.” This time instead of simply placing their lips on top of each other, Merlin took Will’s lips firmly between his own. Now it felt sweet and tender and Merlin never wanted it to stop. But unfortunately, as they were starting to really get the hang of this kissing thing, a voice brought them back to reality; his mother calling him over for supper. The boys rapidly plucked out all of the hay and leaves off their body. Cheeks red and heated, they went their separate ways back.

Back home at supper his mother asked, “Have you and William been causing Mr. Simmons trouble again? He’s been complaining about his cattle being mysteriously scared off.”

Merlin shook his head. “Nope. We simply finished our chores and went to hang out at the old barn again. Nothing special happened, nothing strange.” Nothing strange at all, just two best friends doing totally normal best friend activity… His mother regarded him unconvinced. “Um, Will is coming over to cut my hair later if that’s okay?”

“You know I could cut it for you.”

“Oh.”

“You never ask me. You always ask William. I don’t know if it’s because it’s more comfortable that way for you or...”

His mother used to _do_ his hair, but it was so profoundly tied to an uncomfortable version of himself that he had never thought to ask her to cut his hair now.

“I’d be happy for you to cut my hair, mother. But I...do like it when Will does it.”

“Hmm, yes I’ve noticed.” His mother was smiling, the all knowing mother smile, and Merlin’s ears probably looked as red as they felt.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you Neb for the beta <3
> 
> i will be rewriting the moment of truth episode for this series and wanted to write a little peak into merlin and will's past before that! hope you liked it,,,


End file.
